sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
