What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
