I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize