We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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