I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
