it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You can't just leave with hair like that
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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