i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
