they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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