i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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