I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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