i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
