so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
