You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
