Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I intend to get homeless drunk
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
