is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
