Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
