No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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