Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
