one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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