Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
