That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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