That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize