farters have to be the big spoon...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
