who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
