i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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