We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
