so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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