YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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