just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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