she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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