i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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