it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You can't special order awesome
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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