If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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