sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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