We're like a lot better than the average bears
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
