miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
