**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
