You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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