I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
