I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
