Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
