it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
