He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
