Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
