great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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