There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
