You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
