So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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