i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
