I wish my penis had an off switch
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
