Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
