so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
