no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
